I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You need a sexual gate keeper
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
