If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
