I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
