My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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