What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
