Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
