singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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