i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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