Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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