Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
