The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
