At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
