Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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