You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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