you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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