absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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