alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
