Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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