Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
