things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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