Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
