Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
