Screwed.edu
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
