Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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