So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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