The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
