What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
3 2 1 whiskey
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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