Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
