ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
