Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
