Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
