whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
