if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
