i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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