I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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