the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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