Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
