mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
