windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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