Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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