think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
