video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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