you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
