I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
