I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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