So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
