So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
