i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Enjoy the penises
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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