come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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