I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
