He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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