if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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