i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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